What do you expect?

Often times, the anticipation of a trip is as equally exciting or more exciting than the actual trip. Our junior year in high school, the year we had the exchange, was the best year of the four. No doubt this was in large part due to our exchange experiences. In fact, after our Germany trip, senior year was somewhat anti-climactic. 

I don't recall much of the time between the Germans visit and our trip to Mainz. I do remember that many of us had to schedule final exams early so that we could leave for our trip in early June. I also recall getting our yearbooks on the bus, so we brought those along. 

One thing I have slowly become used to with travel is that what you anticipate and what you experience are often very different. I really can't recall what I imagined beforehand. With the experience in particular, there was so much to figure out, comprehend and understand, there wasn't a whole lot of room for reflection. A journey might be better or worse than you reckon, but it will never be as you imagined. 

I think it's safe to say that our expectations were high and that for most of the month we visited, our expectations were exceeded. Perhaps nowadays, travel between the U.S. and Western Europe is very similar, due to the shrinking of the globalized world. Thirty nine years ago, globalization was much younger. Yes, McDonald's was there. Yes, music had long transcended the Atlantic. Other things, however, we still quite distinct. Germany, in fact West Germany at the time, still used the Deutschmark. All the little things that were new to me and most likely all of us. German cars, like the Opel. Yes, there were a few of those here in the 70s. European style door knobs, bedding, windows without screens, streetcars and busses, toilets and tiny refrigerators. It was very difficult to find ice or still water.

I'm not sure what happened to the clipping, but there was a small story about our exchange in the local paper while we were there. They relayed the story of Peter and I, desperate from our class instruction to validate our tickets when we boarded public transit that we tried to stamp our fare cards in the ashtray of the train.

One thing I vividly recall was how unsure and disoriented our exchange partners seemed, especially the first week or two of their stay. So much of everyday life was new to them. That really hit home when I observed the same students, just a few weeks later as they so confidently navigated places that were so familiar to them. In my sixteen year old mind, the Germans seemed 'uncool' when they were in the States. What I understand now is that they were just experiencing a bit of culture shock and it upended their confidence in themselves. 

No doubt it was the same for us. And of course it went beyond understanding the pepperoni meant something different there. How do you use the telephone? Where do I pick up the bus to go home? 

I'll attach a scan of some of what the Germans wrote in my yearbook that June, as we departed for our flight back to Chicago.

Daytrips - Germany Style

 I think I recall we had a calendar that made it clear where we were going on which day. Our teacher, Herr Bergren, despite the controlled chaos of his classroom, was a very good organizer. The big trip we had planned was a few days in Berlin. Before that, however, Herr B wanted to show us the culturally significant sites that were within closer reach. 

Among the first day trips we made was visit to Heidelberg. I recall being blown away by how pristine the old town was. Mainz is on the middle Rhine region, where the Main River meets the Rhine. Heidelberg is on the Neckar and about an hour and a half south and a bit east by train, which is how we arrived. I was impressed with the train ride, the condition of the town, and the fact that we had a sizable chunk of time to do what we liked. The castle is primarily a ruin, so it seems like it's main appeal is as a backdrop for the old town. 

Here I am among the rolling hills of the Neckar Valley

Among the first things we did, of course, is buy a beer at an outdoor cafe. From what I recall, these were the first moments we were left alone in a country where we could buy beer at age 16. It was also good fortune that the dollar was historically strong against the Deutschmark then, so our money bought a lot of beers. 

I remember keeping this bottle for far too long

The beer wasn't very good, as I recall, or at least it wasn't like any beer I had tried before. It wasn't ice cold, like I understood beer to be. It was a warm summer day and I probably would have been happier with a Coke, but I didn't want to let my homies down, nor, more likely, have them tease me because I didn't really want a beer. In the days ahead, I did find German beer that was more to my palate. 

I recall that Clint was amused because the streams appeared urine-like

According to Rick Steves guides, Heidelberg has become over-touristed. However, it's hard not to imagine that Anna and Lisa will enjoy a few hours here, so I think we have to make a point to get there in June, even if it might be kitschy. 

Brenda and Ann on the Old Bridge over the Neckar.

About six months out

 Reckon I'd better get back to this. Since the last post we've had a Delta wave and an Omicron wave of the virus. I know for sure people back during the Spanish influenza epidemic weren't sitting around talking about virus mutations. They weren't even sure that influenza was a virus. Anyway.

I have been pricing tickets to Germany for the 2nd half of June. No great deals yet in regular coach. I hate flying 'basic economy'. As if regular economy flights weren't lousy enough. Nothing with good connections cost much under $1k. Guess there's no rush. We're ponding the possibility of adding a stop to the first part of the trip. I've priced Oslo, Warsaw, and Copenhagen. Any of those would be great. The one thing that would be nice to avoid would be to skip taking the train to Berlin all the way from Mainz before we fly out again. 

I guess I'd better hold up looking forward so I can look back for the blog.

We arrived in early June, which is a great time to be in northern Europe. Germans like to hang their bedding out their screenless windows during the summer. The weather is beautiful and the days are very long and no bugs. Hell, it's January here and I still have some kind of bug buzzing around my monitor as I write this. Early on we met our families, visited the school, and oriented ourselves to how our day to day would be for the next few weeks. Herr Arno and Frau Rita Besch were fairly typical, middle class Germans. Arno worked somewhere nearby - some sort of industry or manufacturing. He might have been an engineer? Other people's jobs are generally hard to understand and his German was very hard to grasp. Rita was a stay at home Hausfrau. They lived on the first two floors of a three story building. I'm not sure who rented the other space. Now that I think of it, it's very fuzzy in my mind, although I seem to recall that they didn't occupy the entire house. If I'm not mistaken, another family lived on the middle floor. The place was on a quiet street in Bretzenheim, a close bedroom community beside Mainz, just to the south and west. The bus took about fifteen minutes from downtown and it was even closer to the University of Mainz. 

Some of my classmates stayed with families in the city, generally in more close quarters. Others lived a bit further out. I recall being jealous of those who had access to the city on foot, but looking back, I had a very good situation. I shared a large bedroom with Rudiger and his slightly younger brother Jurgen. The three of us also shared a small bath. Rudiger had a nice stereo system in his room, which was an especially big deal at that age. 

Rudiger at his desk in the large bedroom we shared.

Turns out that the school part of our trip was rather minimal. Often we would begin our day there before heading out on a day trip elsewhere. I recall visiting a class of mostly Turkish students (Germany long had a guestworker program) studying math with a very exasperated German woman. The students found my presence a welcome diversion. 

One thing that was unusual about our exchange was the fact that most American high schools pair with German Gymnasium schools, which are considered college-preparatory. Instead, Bergren matched us with a 'middle-level' school, which worked out better because, for one, we could related better to these students and, two, they had time to show us around. They weren't under the pressure that most gymnasium students endure. Of course, some of the students were got to know also went on to gymnasium, including Rudiger. In fact, when I visited him five years later, he was studying at the University of Mainz. 

Well, it's late. More on daytrips next time.

Exchange Partners

 After our initial meetings with Herr Bergren, our workhorse high school German teacher, we began preparations for the exchange. I am almost certain we filled out a sheet with our hobbies and interests, but also demographic information, like religious affiliation and such. At some point ahead of arrival of the German students, we received a sheet with the partner with whom we had been assigned.

My partner's name is Rüdiger. I think our match was pretty solid. Like me, he had a liking of the absurd and was agreeable to most things. He was a fan of the Rolling Stones, which was my favorite band at the time. 

Rüdiger at the Coan house with our cat, Tiger. (April 1982)

Unlike me, he ate everything. He wasn't at all picky, so he loved my mom's cooking. At his own home, it was astonishing to see how he and his brothers attacked lunch or dinner. It reminded me somewhat of how a lab eats - the intensity and ferocity. I could live 200 years and never would I approach white German asparagus with such fury.

Anyway, I don't remember much conflict, which is surprising for two teenagers who have to spend so much time together over two months. I think, for the most part, exchange partners got along pretty well. I don't know if it was our exchange year or another, but I think there might have been a conflict in one family. I vaguely recall an American family being a little too religiously fervent for their student. The vague aspect makes me wonder if it happened during the 1983 exchange. Perhaps Gary Germann will remember if that's the case. 

With Rüdiger, there was only one, slight religious misunderstanding. He had noted Catholic on his demographic form. Our family wanted to make sure we were respectful, so I offered to take him to Palm Sunday service. He agreed to go. Afterward, however, we figured out that each of us were going to be accommodating to the other. Neither of us really wanted to go, but we did get free palms out of the deal.

One of the early communication exercises we did with our partners, usually in small groups, was to exchange glossaries of obscene words and phrases. I haven't asked any of the female exchange students if they did the same. I vividly recall being in a small group of adults and parents in Germany, and the German students were translating the trickier parts of the conversation. Rüdiger, being the clown of the group, sprinkled in some of the obscene English terms he had learned, causing us Americans to laugh hysterically in the way only adolescent boys are able. Naturally, the parents insisted on knowing what was "so funny".

Since I'm still friends with several of my former classmates, I know that some exchange partnerships have lasted all these years. My friend Lindy still keeps a strong friendship with Kerstin. Claudia and Kathy are still in close contact. My friend Jon from the 83 exchange still keeps up with his partner. I did keep sporadic contact with Rüdiger for a few years, and I stayed with the family again for three weeks, five years later in 1987. That second trip I might have worn out my welcome a bit. I recall my exchange mother being critical of how much time I spent away from the house. 

Over the years, I sent cards to Rüdiger's parents (his mother, mostly). Not sure I heard back much. I did hear through Rüdiger's brother on Facebook that their parents died. I also tried to reach out to Rüdiger through email. His brother insisted I had the right email address, but again, I heard nothing in return.

It's always hard for men to retain friendships. It's especially hard across an ocean and with a language barrier. I do have fond memories from 1987 of driving with Rüdiger in his orange, BMW 2002, which are collectors' items now (wish I had one!), and drinking weissbier with rice kernels at the bottom to kick up the bubbles. I'm less fond of the fact that he rolled his own cigarettes. Hopefully he stopped that habit a long time ago. I do hope we can meet up in 2022.

Rüdiger in his bedroom in Germany, one he shared with his two brothers. (June 1982)

Arrival

 I'm pretty sure the photo below was taken AS we arrived in Frankfurt. Perhaps someone will correct me on that. Don't think everyone would have been smiling so much if we were headed back home. 

Since it was 1982, it wasn't unusual to be a sixteen year old on his first commercial flight. A couple of years prior, I had flown on one of those lake planes that used to fly from resort area to resort area looking for those who wanted to fly above the lakes and trees for a few minutes. This time we got on a 747 bound for Amsterdam, operated by KLM. Perhaps it was the tail end of the 'golden age' of air travel, but I remember being somewhat miserable. I couldn't sleep on the plane and I still have a lot of trouble doing so. I don't recall the details, but I remember referring to the transport as a "slave ship" in my journal. That was certainly NOT woke and it was a terrible comparison. Are teens prone to exaggeration?

After a short stop in Amsterdam, we flew to Frankfurt. I really don't recall much from the arrival, although I know we took a train from Frankfurt to Mainz. It was then that Peter and I tried desperately to cancel our tickets in an ashtray. Goofy Americans, indeed!

Seated (left to right): Kathy Lewis, Diana Fleming Mackesey, Barb Washa

Standing (left to right): Mike Niemann, Ann Buller, Brian H., Chris Bradle

Pretty sure that was also my first journey on a proper train. Trains in Germany blew my mind. It's such a superior way to travel vs. cars. More comfortable, faster, and far less stressful. They were my first indication that life could be much different and potentially better in the U.S. I had no idea at the time the discoveries I would make about German bread. 

Thanks for the memories?

 Ah, the memories! Wait, what? Photographs, of course, help us preserve some of what's happened. After nearly 40 years, however, things fade. Most of my memories of this time or any other, of course, are bound up with whatever photographs I have to revisit where I was, who I was with and what I was doing. The one shown here tells me that, at some point when the Germans visited, we had a dress up gathering. I dressed as a baby. Seeing this, I do recall that I dressed up as a baby. Where the party was, what happened there, and anything else from that night is long gone. Nor do I know who took the photo below.

One of the reasons it's fun to gather is that with 20 plus of us who experienced much of the same two month period is that we all recall different things. Plus, if we're lucky, we will have preserved different photographs. At some gathering, I think it was when we met for the 25th, someone handed me a photo that showed me at a pool party in Germany. It was of me leaping, arms and legs extended, into the pool. I didn't recall that party and I don't remember that anyone had a pool. I would think that would be a pretty good memory, since back then I was young, skinny and enjoyed being in pools with people I knew.

Mathias and I (perhaps at Pete Reinhardt's - that looks like his guitar)

I was one of those who took a lot of photos on our trip. Hell, I was just coming off my year as the assistant photo editor of the school newspaper. I also focused (what the hell, pun intended) on my photography at the time. I used my dad's all manual Pentax K1000. Those things were built like tanks and they were simple to use. Mr. Hanson, our journalism teacher, taught me well. Well, he taught me good enough to get started, and I have sustained that hobby, switching from film and slides to digital, for more than forty years and through several cameras.

I remember gathering after our trip to compare photos. A few of us brought photos along when we celebrated twenty-five years. I do hope I get another chance in the coming few years to see some photos that others have preserved. That's one possible way to open up a memory that has long been tucked away.

Goodbye the First Time

 After a month of merry-making and an evening potluck in the IMC, the time came for the Germans to depart and for us to say goodbye, for now. That was my first experience of having a guest for a long period of time. No matter how enjoyable it is, it's almost always a relief to have your own space to yourself again. As the last kid left at home, I could go back to being the only one at home. 

First, of course, we had to get them to the airport. Everyone met up on Broadway at the site of the former Ground Round, near the corner of Broadway and Bridge Road. Here is what that looked like:

Pia, Claudia and Andrea in front of traffic on Broadway and a Chevy Vega.

I remember there were a lot tears that day. It was hard to see what the appeal of visiting Madison in April was for 16 year old Germans. I certainly thought we had the better end of the travel deal. Of course, it was and is hard to put yourself in the shoes of another teenager. Probably it was a relief to be away from the pressures of being an older teen in 80s Germany. What was expected of them after they graduated in June? More school? Work? A trade? 

One thing of incidental interest is that behind our German friends, you can see Broadway and the traffic that was common then, even on a Saturday morning. That's because the Southtown to I90/94 section of the Beltline would not happen until 1989, seven years after this photo.

Anyway, after our German friends left, since there was no internet or email, some of us began writing letters and sending them via airmail. I remember being very pleased when I would receive a letter back from Funda. 

We also began to look more forward to our trip to Mainz, Berlin and to the day trips to come. Here's another photo from German departure day.

Michael and Rudiger (foreground). Behind them, from left to right: Dennis Bergren, Sabina, Mike Niemann, Mike Grzenia.