Berlin, Part 1 of ?

 Our biggest and most memorable trip within our trip was our visit to Berlin. Technically, it was our visit to West and East Berlin, for at the time, the city was still divided. There are so many reasons why those few days have stuck with me.

I'm sort of embarrassed to say, but I think the fact that we were more on our own, away from both our families and our host families, made Berlin more fun for most of us. For me, that was a first at age 16. Granted, we had our teachers' supervision, but we could certainly relax more. It was a little unnerving for the first couple of weeks in Germany to be on our best behavior in someone else's home, while being unsure of pretty much everything. Dare I ask for another ice cube? Is it ok to have a 2nd Brötchen? In the case of my host family, the boys ate like (no exaggeration) ravenous animals. Clearly they were growing, but WTF? I remember one of them grabbing the serving dish and rapidly shoving the remains into his mouth. I was dumbstruck. In Berlin we could act like the sixteen and seventeen year old's we were. I recall taking full advantage.

Peter, me, Dave, and John in the 1936 Olympic Stadium. I won the gold for the worst looking sweatshirt imaginable. Check Peter's jeans and note his rock and roll buttons - yes, the 80s, nor should you overlook John's Member's Only Jacket.

The other reason it was a highlight is because the history and politics of Berlin were fascinating. West Berlin, the part still connected to Western Europe, was an island surrounded by East Germany. The Berlin Wall, for example, surrounded West Berlin, to keep others out, namely East German citizens. 

Trains were not quite so speedy in those days. I remember it was a long ride, and we were nervous about the "passing through East Germany" part. The teachers had prepared us to try not to act like idiots in a way that could get us into trouble. I can't imagine a trip like this would even be possible with some of today's teens, since many of them figure they can get away with (and often do) anything. Along the way through East Germany we made a few stops, which I think were border and security checks, and I guess I couldn't resist pointing my camera out the window.

DDR flag, Deutsche Demokratische Republic, taken out the train window in 1982.

I'm not sure my next move was the smartest, even in my sixteen year old brain, but when the East German border police came on the train to ask who had taken photos, I pretended I hadn't. Hopefully I wasn't in any real danger of being pulled off the train. Perhaps they would have taken my film. I'm glad neither of those happened, but it's probably also a good thing that I didn't try that ten or twenty years prior. It might have had a different ending.

I don't remember much else from the train ride, but when we arrived in Berlin we checked into a youth hostel, although I have no idea where in the city we stayed. By no means is Berlin any sort of a grid city, and we mostly traveled around by subway, which doesn't really lend itself to getting your bearings. At that time, the heart of the city was the Kurfürstendamm, the busy boulevard in the west. With the end of the wall, the heart has moved to the historical center, Mitte and Alexanderplatz. I'm looking forward to seeing that change. In the K-damm area, I recall visiting the memorial church and it's more modern replacement, and perhaps we went to Ka De We? Pretty sure that was a big tourist hit in its day. Here's a photo from the Ku-Damm:

The "U" is for underground (subway) and the Kaiser Wilhelm Memorial Church is in the background next to the modern bell tower. 

I remember seeing what appeared to be hardcore punk rockers in the city, which we didn't really see in Madison in the early 80s. Seems as though the city had a sizable population of drug addicts then, and perhaps we'll see both when we return this summer. Thanks to U2, I now know that Zoo Station is a hangout for those who are addicted. Actually, I read a bit online and see that now the subway stations are frequented by addicts, especially along the U8 line.

Also troubling is that I see the U.S. State Department has a "Do Not Travel" to Germany and all other European nations. Looks like COVID is still the primary reason. We'll see if that is updated to a caution in the coming weeks.

What we remember

I tend to remember the parts of this trip that, obviously, I have thought about at different times over the past 39+ years. For some of it, I have no photos. I remember a few moments of our night to the local winery, owned by a host family. I remember drinking, for my age, quite a bit of wine and laughing a lot with Peter Reinhardt. Sadly, my camera must have been back at the house. 

I received a message back yesterday from one of the German exchange students. I had asked her if she had any connections to her classmates from so long ago and she said she didn't. She doesn't even recall many of their names. I sent a photo (shown earlier in the blog) of all of the German students on the last night in the States, because it has all their names. She said that she remembered very little of a few of her classmates. 

I've got to say, even though I haven't seen some of the American students over the years, I remember quite a bit about them, except for a few that came along from East High. But for one of the East students, I haven't seen them since our trip. Certainly a few of my classmates I'd love to see more often, particularly one of the kindest fellows I know, Chris Bradle. He's out in Pittsburgh. Here's a photo of him from our travels:

Here's Chris with his (probably) 60s era viewfinder camera. I believe this is from our afternoon in Heidelberg.

With Chris I have the advantage of having known him since middle school, or perhaps even grade school. For a few years in high school, he was my ride to LaFollette each day. After college, however, I don't think I saw him until I had a German Exchange reunion in 2012 and he came over to the house for a couple of hours. So do I really know him much anymore?

When I look at the faces and names from the group of Germans in our exchange, I'm not sure I even had an extended conversation with much more than half of them. With those I did spend more time with, I feel like I had some understanding of who they are, or at least who they were. I'm of the belief that people don't fundamentally change much once they're that old. I run into people I haven't seen for decades and their personalities are pretty much the same. Perhaps they have calmed down a bit, or they're a little more introspective. That's just age, though. 

Here are Mike, Lindy (aka Linda), Chris, and Brian from September of 2012.

Nevertheless, it would be a joy to see any and all of them again. I had the pleasure of spending an evening with Claudia when she visited Kathy Grzenia Pierce a few years ago. I spent a little time with Funda when I stayed with Rudiger in 1987. I have seen some of Thorsten on Facebook. The others, however, who knows where they are or even if they're all still living? Unfortunately we have lost many classmates since graduation. To my knowledge, none of those from the exchange have passed, but we also don't know where everyone is.

Some people aren't fond of reunions and sometimes it's because of haunting memories from high school. No doubt, if things had been awful for me, I would have likely stayed away. For most of us, however, I think you should try a reunion before you dismiss the idea altogether. Our recollections can not only connect us with one another, they can also help us make sense of ourselves. I have a strong suspicion that some of my exchange mates can't believe I haven't 'moved on' from this time. Believe me, I have moved "on", or at least moved beyond it. I also know that time informed some of my beliefs, and some of my attitudes. It can be a powerful thing to, once you have view of your own culture in the context of another, question why we live the way we do. So, yes, I really enjoyed that brief time in Germany, but I also value it for how it opened me up to new possibilities and different points of view.

Dinner with Claudia and her husband at Kathy's house, 2018.

Day Trips, Germany Style Part 2

 Besides Heidelberg, we made day trips around the area, with one that just barely put us in Bavaria. I remember visiting some Roman ruins in Bad Durkheim, but that excursion was otherwise unremarkable. Other than Heidelberg, the best of these was Wurzburg, the city at the northern edge of Bavaria, mostly because it has the ornate Residenz palace. I don't think any of us had seen such a decorative building before. I do remember my German family puzzled as to why we went to Wurzburg(actually spelled with an umlaut above the u), but these days I do see it come up in guidebooks for the very reason we visited.

Locally, we spent some time poking around Mainz. We had a tour of the Dom, the Mainz Romanesque cathedral. Back in the states, our teacher Herr Begren gave us lessons about common architectural styles, so we could identify a gothic period building from a baroque era one. We had few enough opportunities to feel smart our first time in another country, so at least we could parse a few things about our surroundings. Mainz also has Marc Chagall windows in one of its churches, so we had a look at those, which is one site I'm planning to visit again. I missed the day our class went to the Gutenberg museum, but from what I read, it's not particularly well done. (more on WHY I missed later)

 At the moment, I am trying to figure out a workable itinerary for our trip this June. It sounds more likely than not that Lindy Anderson and her family will meet us in Mainz. I have a list of worthwhile activities in Berlin. Our other stops, I'm less certain about. I did find out that Anna rides free on German trains! (Actually, while pricing tickets, I found that she does NOT ride free - 4.20 edit)

Above photo: Dave, John, Ann, and Peter in Bad Durkheim, sitting in a Roman something or other. I'm guessing today, they probably don't permit you to climb in and sit on them.

Ann and I on the same daytrip. Looks like I was still trying to look like a tennis player, even though I stopped playing at school the year before. My hair is nearing the style of Bjorn Borg.

On one of the bus trips, perhaps on the above one, we sat down with several other students, German ones, and created two lists. One list, the English one, contained the obscene words we wished the Germans would translate into German. Naturally, some terms didn't translate well. All the naughty body parts did, of course, but some terms, like the German word Bocker, which Google Translate says means 'Bucks', the students said means "Fucker". One who fucks? Is this something you would use on someone in an attempt to be hurtful? In English it doesn't work so well. Naturally, we threw in some absurd terms for our own amusement. I think it was from Steve Martin that I heard the term "Golden Bozos", referring to breasts. All of us, the Germans included, got a big kick out of hearing them say that one. You could count on uproarious teenaged laughter when the Germans used this in the company of their parents.

What do you expect?

Often times, the anticipation of a trip is as equally exciting or more exciting than the actual trip. Our junior year in high school, the year we had the exchange, was the best year of the four. No doubt this was in large part due to our exchange experiences. In fact, after our Germany trip, senior year was somewhat anti-climactic. 

I don't recall much of the time between the Germans visit and our trip to Mainz. I do remember that many of us had to schedule final exams early so that we could leave for our trip in early June. I also recall getting our yearbooks on the bus, so we brought those along. 

One thing I have slowly become used to with travel is that what you anticipate and what you experience are often very different. I really can't recall what I imagined beforehand. With the experience in particular, there was so much to figure out, comprehend and understand, there wasn't a whole lot of room for reflection. A journey might be better or worse than you reckon, but it will never be as you imagined. 

I think it's safe to say that our expectations were high and that for most of the month we visited, our expectations were exceeded. Perhaps nowadays, travel between the U.S. and Western Europe is very similar, due to the shrinking of the globalized world. Thirty nine years ago, globalization was much younger. Yes, McDonald's was there. Yes, music had long transcended the Atlantic. Other things, however, we still quite distinct. Germany, in fact West Germany at the time, still used the Deutschmark. All the little things that were new to me and most likely all of us. German cars, like the Opel. Yes, there were a few of those here in the 70s. European style door knobs, bedding, windows without screens, streetcars and busses, toilets and tiny refrigerators. It was very difficult to find ice or still water.

I'm not sure what happened to the clipping, but there was a small story about our exchange in the local paper while we were there. They relayed the story of Peter and I, desperate from our class instruction to validate our tickets when we boarded public transit that we tried to stamp our fare cards in the ashtray of the train.

One thing I vividly recall was how unsure and disoriented our exchange partners seemed, especially the first week or two of their stay. So much of everyday life was new to them. That really hit home when I observed the same students, just a few weeks later as they so confidently navigated places that were so familiar to them. In my sixteen year old mind, the Germans seemed 'uncool' when they were in the States. What I understand now is that they were just experiencing a bit of culture shock and it upended their confidence in themselves. 

No doubt it was the same for us. And of course it went beyond understanding the pepperoni meant something different there. How do you use the telephone? Where do I pick up the bus to go home? 

I'll attach a scan of some of what the Germans wrote in my yearbook that June, as we departed for our flight back to Chicago.

Daytrips - Germany Style

 I think I recall we had a calendar that made it clear where we were going on which day. Our teacher, Herr Bergren, despite the controlled chaos of his classroom, was a very good organizer. The big trip we had planned was a few days in Berlin. Before that, however, Herr B wanted to show us the culturally significant sites that were within closer reach. 

Among the first day trips we made was visit to Heidelberg. I recall being blown away by how pristine the old town was. Mainz is on the middle Rhine region, where the Main River meets the Rhine. Heidelberg is on the Neckar and about an hour and a half south and a bit east by train, which is how we arrived. I was impressed with the train ride, the condition of the town, and the fact that we had a sizable chunk of time to do what we liked. The castle is primarily a ruin, so it seems like it's main appeal is as a backdrop for the old town. 

Here I am among the rolling hills of the Neckar Valley

Among the first things we did, of course, is buy a beer at an outdoor cafe. From what I recall, these were the first moments we were left alone in a country where we could buy beer at age 16. It was also good fortune that the dollar was historically strong against the Deutschmark then, so our money bought a lot of beers. 

I remember keeping this bottle for far too long

The beer wasn't very good, as I recall, or at least it wasn't like any beer I had tried before. It wasn't ice cold, like I understood beer to be. It was a warm summer day and I probably would have been happier with a Coke, but I didn't want to let my homies down, nor, more likely, have them tease me because I didn't really want a beer. In the days ahead, I did find German beer that was more to my palate. 

I recall that Clint was amused because the streams appeared urine-like

According to Rick Steves guides, Heidelberg has become over-touristed. However, it's hard not to imagine that Anna and Lisa will enjoy a few hours here, so I think we have to make a point to get there in June, even if it might be kitschy. 

Brenda and Ann on the Old Bridge over the Neckar.

About six months out

 Reckon I'd better get back to this. Since the last post we've had a Delta wave and an Omicron wave of the virus. I know for sure people back during the Spanish influenza epidemic weren't sitting around talking about virus mutations. They weren't even sure that influenza was a virus. Anyway.

I have been pricing tickets to Germany for the 2nd half of June. No great deals yet in regular coach. I hate flying 'basic economy'. As if regular economy flights weren't lousy enough. Nothing with good connections cost much under $1k. Guess there's no rush. We're ponding the possibility of adding a stop to the first part of the trip. I've priced Oslo, Warsaw, and Copenhagen. Any of those would be great. The one thing that would be nice to avoid would be to skip taking the train to Berlin all the way from Mainz before we fly out again. 

I guess I'd better hold up looking forward so I can look back for the blog.

We arrived in early June, which is a great time to be in northern Europe. Germans like to hang their bedding out their screenless windows during the summer. The weather is beautiful and the days are very long and no bugs. Hell, it's January here and I still have some kind of bug buzzing around my monitor as I write this. Early on we met our families, visited the school, and oriented ourselves to how our day to day would be for the next few weeks. Herr Arno and Frau Rita Besch were fairly typical, middle class Germans. Arno worked somewhere nearby - some sort of industry or manufacturing. He might have been an engineer? Other people's jobs are generally hard to understand and his German was very hard to grasp. Rita was a stay at home Hausfrau. They lived on the first two floors of a three story building. I'm not sure who rented the other space. Now that I think of it, it's very fuzzy in my mind, although I seem to recall that they didn't occupy the entire house. If I'm not mistaken, another family lived on the middle floor. The place was on a quiet street in Bretzenheim, a close bedroom community beside Mainz, just to the south and west. The bus took about fifteen minutes from downtown and it was even closer to the University of Mainz. 

Some of my classmates stayed with families in the city, generally in more close quarters. Others lived a bit further out. I recall being jealous of those who had access to the city on foot, but looking back, I had a very good situation. I shared a large bedroom with Rudiger and his slightly younger brother Jurgen. The three of us also shared a small bath. Rudiger had a nice stereo system in his room, which was an especially big deal at that age. 

Rudiger at his desk in the large bedroom we shared.

Turns out that the school part of our trip was rather minimal. Often we would begin our day there before heading out on a day trip elsewhere. I recall visiting a class of mostly Turkish students (Germany long had a guestworker program) studying math with a very exasperated German woman. The students found my presence a welcome diversion. 

One thing that was unusual about our exchange was the fact that most American high schools pair with German Gymnasium schools, which are considered college-preparatory. Instead, Bergren matched us with a 'middle-level' school, which worked out better because, for one, we could related better to these students and, two, they had time to show us around. They weren't under the pressure that most gymnasium students endure. Of course, some of the students were got to know also went on to gymnasium, including Rudiger. In fact, when I visited him five years later, he was studying at the University of Mainz. 

Well, it's late. More on daytrips next time.

Exchange Partners

 After our initial meetings with Herr Bergren, our workhorse high school German teacher, we began preparations for the exchange. I am almost certain we filled out a sheet with our hobbies and interests, but also demographic information, like religious affiliation and such. At some point ahead of arrival of the German students, we received a sheet with the partner with whom we had been assigned.

My partner's name is Rüdiger. I think our match was pretty solid. Like me, he had a liking of the absurd and was agreeable to most things. He was a fan of the Rolling Stones, which was my favorite band at the time. 

Rüdiger at the Coan house with our cat, Tiger. (April 1982)

Unlike me, he ate everything. He wasn't at all picky, so he loved my mom's cooking. At his own home, it was astonishing to see how he and his brothers attacked lunch or dinner. It reminded me somewhat of how a lab eats - the intensity and ferocity. I could live 200 years and never would I approach white German asparagus with such fury.

Anyway, I don't remember much conflict, which is surprising for two teenagers who have to spend so much time together over two months. I think, for the most part, exchange partners got along pretty well. I don't know if it was our exchange year or another, but I think there might have been a conflict in one family. I vaguely recall an American family being a little too religiously fervent for their student. The vague aspect makes me wonder if it happened during the 1983 exchange. Perhaps Gary Germann will remember if that's the case. 

With Rüdiger, there was only one, slight religious misunderstanding. He had noted Catholic on his demographic form. Our family wanted to make sure we were respectful, so I offered to take him to Palm Sunday service. He agreed to go. Afterward, however, we figured out that each of us were going to be accommodating to the other. Neither of us really wanted to go, but we did get free palms out of the deal.

One of the early communication exercises we did with our partners, usually in small groups, was to exchange glossaries of obscene words and phrases. I haven't asked any of the female exchange students if they did the same. I vividly recall being in a small group of adults and parents in Germany, and the German students were translating the trickier parts of the conversation. Rüdiger, being the clown of the group, sprinkled in some of the obscene English terms he had learned, causing us Americans to laugh hysterically in the way only adolescent boys are able. Naturally, the parents insisted on knowing what was "so funny".

Since I'm still friends with several of my former classmates, I know that some exchange partnerships have lasted all these years. My friend Lindy still keeps a strong friendship with Kerstin. Claudia and Kathy are still in close contact. My friend Jon from the 83 exchange still keeps up with his partner. I did keep sporadic contact with Rüdiger for a few years, and I stayed with the family again for three weeks, five years later in 1987. That second trip I might have worn out my welcome a bit. I recall my exchange mother being critical of how much time I spent away from the house. 

Over the years, I sent cards to Rüdiger's parents (his mother, mostly). Not sure I heard back much. I did hear through Rüdiger's brother on Facebook that their parents died. I also tried to reach out to Rüdiger through email. His brother insisted I had the right email address, but again, I heard nothing in return.

It's always hard for men to retain friendships. It's especially hard across an ocean and with a language barrier. I do have fond memories from 1987 of driving with Rüdiger in his orange, BMW 2002, which are collectors' items now (wish I had one!), and drinking weissbier with rice kernels at the bottom to kick up the bubbles. I'm less fond of the fact that he rolled his own cigarettes. Hopefully he stopped that habit a long time ago. I do hope we can meet up in 2022.

Rüdiger in his bedroom in Germany, one he shared with his two brothers. (June 1982)